POWERFUL ADVICE FROM A DYING MAN!

POWERFUL ADVICE FROM A DYING MAN

via Reddit

“I am only 34 years old, yet I have actually already chosen my last tie. It’s the one that I will wear on my funeral a few months from now. It may not match my suit, but I think it’s perfect for the occasion.

The cancer diagnosis came too late to give me at least a tenuous hope for a long life, but I realized that the most important thing about death is to ensure that you leave this world a little better than it was before you existed with your contributions . The way I’ve lived my life so far, my existence or more precisely the loss of it, will not matter because I have lived without doing anything impactful.

Before, there were so many things that occupied my mind. When I learned how much time I had left, however, it became clear which things are really important. So, I am writing to you for a selfish reason. I want to give meaning to my life by sharing with you what I have realized:

·    Don’t waste your time on work that you don’t enjoy. It is obvious that you cannot succeed in something that you don’t like. Patience, passion, and dedication come easily only when you love what you do.

·       It’s stupid to be afraid of others’ opinions. Fear weakens and paralyzes you. If you let it, it can grow worse and worse every day until there is nothing left of you, but a shell of yourself. Listen to your inner voice and go with it. Some people may call you crazy, but some may even think you‘re a legend.

·        Take control of your life Take full responsibility for the things that happen to you. Limit bad habits and try to lead a healthier life. Find a sport that makes you happy. Most of all, don’t procrastinate. Let your life be shaped by decisions you made, not by the ones you didn’t.

·     Appreciate the people around you Your friends and relatives will always be an infinite source of strength and love. That is why you shouldn’t take them for granted.

It is difficult for me to fully express my feelings about the importance of these simple realizations, but I hope that you will listen to someone who has experienced how valuable time is.

I’m not upset because I understand that the last days of my life have become meaningful. I only regret that I will not be able to see a lot of cool stuff that should happen soon like the creation of AI, or Elon Musk’s next awesome project. I also hope that the war in Syria and Ukraine will end soon.

We care so much about the health and integrity of our body that until death, we don’t notice that the body is nothing more than a box – a parcel for delivering our personality, thoughts, beliefs and intentions to this world. If there is nothing in this box that can change the world, then it doesn’t matter if it disappears. I believe that we all have potential, but it also takes a lot of courage to realize it.

You can float through a life created by circumstances, missing day after day, hour after hour. Or, you can fight for what you believe in and write the great story of your life. I hope you will make the right choice.

Leave a mark in this world. Have a meaningful life, whatever definition it has for you. Go towards it. The place we are leaving is a beautiful playground, where everything is possible. Yet, we are not here forever. Our life is a short spark in this beautiful little planet that flies with incredible speed to the endless darkness of the unknown universe. So, enjoy your time here with passion.

Make it interesting. Make it count!

Thank you!”

8 Tips to Build Tolerance in Your Life

First Shared and Copied From: http://www.chopra.com/articles/8-tips-to-build-tolerance-in-your-life?utm_source=Newsletter&utm_medium=Email&utm_content=161108+-+CCL+Newsletter&utm_campaign=Newsletter2016118

8 Tips to Build Tolerance in Your Life

By Leo Carver

Most people have trouble being tolerant with others. As a living, breathing society, everyone is constantly learning and adapting to each other—it comes with the territory. But cultivating a spirit of tolerance can bring healing and meaning to your life in unimaginable ways.

Tolerance is your ability to deal with the disagreeable. It’s your capacity to withstand the “yuck” in your life and other people. Sometimes, someone’s disagreeable nature can simply be an annoyance, while other times, it may be much more intrusive.

The practice of tolerance, however, is more about your relationship with yourself instead of with other people. Tolerance can be thought of as emotional or mental perseverance:

·         How long are you able to deal with the disturbances that others cause you?

·         Are you able to do it with a spirit of grace and confidence?

·         Do you prefer to be indifferent, ignoring the person or situation?

·         If the behavior is unlikely to change, how do you deal with them?

These are questions that take time to consider. When you feel yourself intolerant of someone else, remember the following insights. They can help you deal with yourself and others in order to cultivate the benefits of a life filled with tolerance and stillness.

Own Your Feelings

When something bothers you about someone else, it is good to remember that it is bothering you. The other person may not even be aware of your feelings, let alone be prepared to change because of them.

Keep in mind that your feelings are your own and that you have the right to self-mastery in your life, just as the other person has sovereignty over themselves.

Look Within

Try to see past the person and situation into your own annoyance. Look within yourself to find the source of your problem:

·         Are you not receiving something that you want or need?

·         Is the focus not on you?

·         Is the other person saying or doing something that you wouldn’t allow yourself to do or say?

·         Why are you annoyed?

Check Your Ego

Often other people are simply disrupting your flow. When your stillness is disturbed, your ego may desire to retaliate. A mental or emotional line is being crossed and therefore you feel frustrated. This inner tension can be your ego showing anger at the fact that your personal attention has shifted.

When you are bothered by other people, you are no longer focused on what you were doing. This is upsetting to the ego. Remember you are not your ego, but rather its source. By recognizing ego concern for what it is, you can cultivate the ability to limit the importance of some of the things you feel.

Meditate

Meditation can help cultivate tolerance. You can learn to tolerate some things about others simply by discovering they’re just not that important. The things you take issue with don’t have to define the person or the experience.

By calming your spirit, you can learn to check yourself before reacting. Start by routinely checking in with yourself during stressful experiences or people. You will begin to react with more grace and patience and be able to offer the best version of yourself.

Remember Change Is Imminent

The universe is always changing, always happening. And as such, everything has its moment to be. You, also, can change from one moment to the next. This dynamism can be seen as a blessing when cultivating tolerance.

Be mindful of the fact that no matter how pestering an annoyance can be, it is only temporary. The majority of people in your life are only around you in certain circumstances or for a certain amount of time. Those closest to you only bother you at times, but are otherwise agreeable, or they wouldn’t be around.

Use Your Power

Put aside your raw, emotional reaction when dealing with frustrating experiences and you’ll find that the experience inherently must change. It is your attachment to the feelings behind the experience that allows it to linger.

You have the power to control how much an annoyance affects you. Even if something about a person bothers you, you can always shift your focus to more agreeable aspects of the person or experience.

Learn to allow life to bug you and then go away, without any lingering effects.

Keep Perspective

No matter how likeable you believe yourself to be, someone out there is or would be annoyed by you. With the numerous spectrums of thought and behavior among humans, it’s impossible to be accepted by all. Chances are, somebody has put up with you at some point. Ask yourself:

·         Have I ever rubbed someone else the wrong way?

·         How did they react?

Remember your own faults and that life has given you grace. Even in your worst times, someone has shown you kindness and patience. It will serve you well to pay that kind of grace forward.

Practice Patience

Practicing patience with the disagreeable aspects of people in your life will help you become more tolerant. The universe allows room for all of your decisions and behavior, while working around them and through them. Seek to mimic this tolerance in your own life. Cultivate centeredness that will be there inside you through everything and everyone. It is empowering and noble.

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8 Little Habits That Will Instantly Make You Happier

8 Little Habits That Will Instantly Make You Happier

First published at: http://www.success.com/article/8-little-habits-that-will-instantly-make-you-happier?utm_source=Maropost&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=5%20Ridiculously%20Easy%20Things%20You%20Can%20Do%20Every%20Day%20to%20Feel%20Happy&utm_term=Seeds%20of%20SUCCESS&mpweb=574-2087644-722117129

Ancient philosophers often counseled that the greatest journey begins with the smallest step.

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” —Lao Tzu

 Make these small steps and define them as daily habits to find more happiness on your personal journey.

1. Wake up early.

Early birds don’t need to get the worm; they get to work early, feel energized and complete the difficult tasks before noon. Studies show the ability to focus and be creative peaks between the hours of 8 and 10 a.m. So instead of burning the midnight oil and having to chug coffee all day just to keep your eyes open, get to bed at a reasonable hour to wake up early. At the end of the day, you’ll feel like you really accomplished something.

2. Be curious.

Curiosity hasn’t killed many cats, despite the saying. What kills is a lack of curiosity. If you’re not interested in what’s going on around you then it’s going to be hard to find motivation to meet your goals at work or home. Ask questions. Pay attention. Drop the slacker attitude and you’ll find that a true sense of wonder will appear in its place.

3. Show respect.

Respect is a two-way street. You give it and then you get it. Not only should you show others respect through common courtesy, but you should show respect to yourself by dressing modestly and neatly, paying attention to personal hygiene. A recent survey of college seniors showed that more respect was shown to those who were neatly dressed.

4. Learn to forgive.

Stop carrying grudges. They weigh you down and take up too much mental space. Instead of daydreaming about things like laying on a beach soaking up rays, you burden yourself with thoughts of revenge against someone who probably doesn’t even remember what caused the grudge in the first place. Learn to forgive and you’ll sleep better. Then start planning that beach trip!

5. Be good to others.

If it’s the right thing, do it. It’s called integrity. People who can’t make up their minds about the right and wrong of a situation wind up doing nothing. So, make up your mind, take a stand and stick to your guns. Happiness is not all about being loved by everyone all the time. It’s about being loved by a choice few because of your integrity.

6. Take charge of your health.

Health is wealth. Take care of yourself. You might get a second chance at a lot of things, but you’ll never get a second body. If your body isn’t happy, then it will be much more difficult for your mind to stay happy, too.

7. Be confident, not arrogant.

Self-confidence is not the same as arrogance. Arrogant people often don’t listen to others and try to ramrod their way through life. Someone with self-confidence knows they are not perfect, but they also know they have at least the common sense to work out most everyday problems and challenges in a perfectly acceptable way. They accept the fact that sometimes you win and sometimes you lose, and go on with their lives. Arrogant people try to be perfect, and when they fail, their unhappiness can be epic.

8. Smile more.

Exercise that grin each morning and use it on someone who might need it—a co-worker, a family member, a stranger. Spread a little kindness to get a little happiness back.

I Prepare to Die as the Taliban Attacks AUAF

Copied from and first shared with: http://awwproject.org/2016/09/i-prepare-to-die-as-the-taliban-attacks-auaf/

Wednesday 24th of August, 2016. The fourth day of my second semester. My last class finished at 6:20 p.m. I expected to meet a friend, but she did not come so I finished my dinner and went to the mosque to pray. At 7:04 p.m., I had just finished praying when three explosions went off two meters (6.5 feet) from the mosque. The air turned dark, the ceiling fell upon us. It was hard to breathe. Seconds later, gunshots began. I could not believe what seemed clear: the American University of Afghanistan was under attack.

After two minutes the firing stopped, and a small group of us girls fled the mosque bare-footed, running to Bayat building, the nearest building. We looked for a place to hide, but there was none. Then we heard shots from the second floor, and some girls began to shriek. The sounds of gunfire came from everywhere. We were trapped. I ran to the exit of the building, but before I could reach it, there was more shooting. This time I flattened myself to the ground and covered my ears tight, trying to prevent the sounds of violence from reaching my mind.

After 30 seconds I looked behind me. All the girls I’d been with were wounded. Then I saw a man holding a gun walking on the other side of the hall. “Alia. Now it is finished,” I told myself. “There is no way to escape.” I lay flat, listening for a long time to the horrifying sounds of the gunman firing at the students. The hall was in complete darkness. I tried to calm myself so that I would not shake. I could hear each step the man took. He was uniformed just like the university’s guards, but he was firing at students. It was a confusing sight.

For several hours I stayed in the same place. The Taliban had the keys for each room of the building. They opened one room after another and took students upstairs. They must have thought I was dead. I was very hopeful. I kept hoping the police would come save me, but after three hours I gave up and started to think about my last dreams.

I could hear the attackers singing songs. I was unable to stop myself from shaking in fear. Gunmen walked past us every ten minutes. It was around midnight when one of them started firing everywhere again. They were talking out loud. They were saying, “Where are all these police? Why don’t you come here and fight like a man?”

The nearer the bullets got to me, the more debris from the floor was hitting my legs. I suddenly couldn’t keep my legs still; I moved them, and the firing stopped. I heard laughter and knew they must have seen me; they would shoot me now. I said my last words and prepared to die. I waited and waited, but they did nothing. They did not shoot me.

Now the Taliban kept entering the room about every thirty minutes. Four boys who had pretended to be dead at first surrendered themselves, and the Taliban shot one of those boys. I told myself, “If I am supposed to die, why die alone? Why not surrender myself so that I die with my fellow students?”

At 1:30 a.m., I decided I would surrender. I would shout that I was alive. The Taliban was upstairs so I waited for them to return. Then the door in front of me opened and four men entered the hall. They were whispering.

I thought they were Taliban, so I said I was alive and wanted to surrender. They said, “Be quiet, we are police.” They took me out of the building. My feet hurt to walk. I felt shards of glass in them. I was taken to the nearest hospital. I was saved.

I still feel some kind of fear inside. The Taliban attacked the most prestigious university in Afghanistan, showing their opposition to education. But I know we students must find our bravery, stand beside AUAF, and tell the Taliban that AUAF is alive and will prevail, becoming even stronger.

Alia, age 16

This story has been published as part of our partnership with Women’s eNews Teen Voices series. Photo by US Embassy Kabul.

6 Essential Traits of Good Character

Rohn: 6 Essential Traits of Good Character - Copied

Jim Rohn

The following are what I believe to be the basics of good character. Miss one of these, and you’ll find a weak link in your character—one that might be your leadership’s undoing.

Related: Rohn: How to Build Character

1. Integrity

Integrity is a good catchword that is similar to character but provides us with a different way of looking at the ideas of character. The root of integrity means “whole” or “undivided,” and that’s a terrific way to help us understand what integrity is—an undivided life. For example, you don’t act one way in one situation and another in a different situation. There is integrity and wholeness to your life. Living this way will build trust in your followers. Another use of the word integrity that provides insight for us is when the word is used in regard to a physical structure. A wall or a building that is strong and has no cracks is said to have integrity. The same could be said for great leaders.

2. Honesty

It is regularly said that honesty is the best policy, but I would add that honesty is the only policy for great leaders. Think about it. Why do people hedge the truth? Usually for a few basic reasons: They are either afraid of the ramifications or they are trying to hide something. Either way, a lack of honesty results in the fact that you destroy the trust of those who follow you. Even if you tell them the truth but they know you have lied to others, it will destroy the trust you had with them. They find themselves thinking, “If he will lie to them, will he lie to me?”

I’ve never understood what people hope to accomplish by being dishonest. Eventually people come to know that you’re not honest in your dealings, and that is what you become known for. Your reputation is what your leadership is based on, though. When we’re honest and live transparently before our followers, they’re able to see us for who we are and make solid decisions to follow.

3. Loyalty

People of good character are loyal people. They have a “stick-to-it” attitude when it comes to others. Anybody who knows human nature knows that people fail. It’s just a matter of time, no matter how talented someone is. A person of good character stays with their friends even in the downtimes. Anyone can be friends with others when times are good. People of good character stay with their friends when they need them most. 5 how this translates into making you a good leader is this: People want to follow a leader who will stretch them beyond where they are now, but who’ll also allow them to try—and to fail. When we are loyal to our followers, they’ll be loyal to us and make every effort to succeed on our behalf and on behalf of the organization. There are few things that strengthen the leader-follower bond more than when a leader shows loyalty to a follower in need.

4. Self-Sacrifice

Lee Iacocca became a legend when he said he’d bring Chrysler back from the brink of bankruptcy and would take only a dollar a year in pay. This was a classic example of a leader sacrificing for the followers. It also showed his understanding of and empathizing with the average line worker. As a result, the workers of Chrysler rewarded him with an incredible following as they built Chrysler into one of the world’s leading car companies.

What is it about self-sacrifice that breeds followers? Followers don’t mind putting in the hard work. They don’t even mind a leader making more money or reaping benefits from their work. What followers do mind, though, is when the leader is using them for personal gain. People of good character don’t use other people, period. So when a leader shows sacrifice of personal gain, it says to the followers that they are willing to come alongside of them—and followers reward that almost universally. A person of good character shows that they can give up personal gain for the good of the whole.

5. Accountability

People of good character don’t mind accountability. In fact, they welcome it. This is the act of allowing others to have a say in your life, to speak to you straight about your life and conduct. The brutal truth is that we have blind spots and need other people to be in close to us so we can advance down the road of success. The need for accountability doesn’t prove lack of character. Rather, it proves the presence of character. G.K. Chesterton said, “Original sin is the only philosophy empirically validated by 3,500 years of human history.” The person of good character knows this and invites others to speak into their life.

Followers grow tired of leaders who will have nothing to do with accountability. They don’t mind leaders who make mistakes, but they do mind leaders who don’t take responsibility for their mistakes by being accountable. When we allow ourselves to be held accountable, our followers know that we are serious about keeping our own house in order, and thus will do a good job in leading the rest of the organization.

6. Self-Control

The ability to make decisions—good decisions—about what we will and will not do with our actions is at the core of what we become in regard to our character. There will be plenty of options to participate in things that are not moral. Everybody has temptations, but a person of good character knows to exercise self-control—literal control over their choices. When people don’t exercise self-control, they sabotage their ability to lead. People lose respect for them and will follow less, if at all. Self-control is the ability to choose to do the things we should, and to refrain from doing the things we shouldn’t. When we exhibit self-control, we again build trust in our followers. They respect us and want to follow us.

غواړئ ډېر عمر وکړئ؟/ ژباړه: حمیدالله حمیدي

غواړئ ډېر عمر وکړئ؟/ ژباړه: حمیدالله حمیدي

دا لیکنه په لومړي ځل په لومړیتوب کې خپره شوې او له همغه ځایه کاپي شوي

په ژوند کې څو کوچني بدلونونه کولی شي ستاسو د عمر د زیاتوالي لامل شي. وروستیو څېړنو ښودلې ده چې ځیني بد عادتونه لکه سګرېټ څکول، ورزش نه کول او په کافي ډول د مېوو او سبزیو نه کارول د دې لامل ګرځي چې مرګ مو ژر مېلمه شي او یا هم په کم عمر کې د زړو کسانو څېره خپله کړئ. خو له نېکه مرغه ځیني واړه کارونه دي چې په ترسره کولو سره یې کولی شئ هم ښکلې څېره ولرئ او هم ځوان ښکاره شئ. معلومه خبره ده چې مرګ او ژوند یوازې د خدای پاک په لاس کې دي او په دې هم پوره عقیده لرو، مخکې له دې چې انسان نړۍ ته راشي د مرګ ورځ، خوراک او څښاک هر څه یې معلوم شوي وي. هغه عمر چې د خدای پاک له لوري ورته ټاکل شوی، یوه ثانیه هم کم او زیات نه کېږي، په دې لیکنه کې پر دې خبرې شوې دي چې څنګه کولی شو له وخته مخکې د زړښت مخه ونیولای شو او ځوان پاتې شو:

۱-  په خوراک کې افراط مه کوئ

که غواړئ سل کلنۍ ته ورسېږئ، نو د خوړو د کاسې حجم مو کم کړئ. دن بیوټنر هغه کس دی چې په نړۍ کې د عمر د اوږدوالي په اړه څېړنه کوي. دی وایي: “په جاپان کې تر ټولو بوډا کس، مخکې له دې چې د مړښت احساس وکړي، خوراک بندوي.” د اېس ټي لویس پوهنتون څېړونکو په هغې څېړنه کې چې په ۲۰۰۸ کال کې یې ترسره کړې وه په ډاګه کړې چې کم خوراک ستاسو د زړښت سرعت کموي؛ ځکه بدن د کمې کالورۍ د پیدا کېدو په صورت کې د تایرویید هورمون 3T کم تولیدوي او په پایله کې یې متابولیزم کمېږي او په دې ډوله ورسره د زړښت سرعت هم کمېږي.

۲ - تلوېزیون ته ډېر مه ګورئ

د ډېر وخت لپاره د تلوېزیون کتل له ځان سره ډېر خطرناک جانبي عوارض لري؛ هغه څېړنې چې په ۲۰۱۰ کال کې ترسره شوې، په ګوته کوي، کوم کسان چې د ورځې په اوږدو کې څلور ساعته او یا هم تر دې ډېر تلوېزیون ګوري، د هغو خلکو په نسبت چې تر دې کم تلوېزیون ته ګوري ۴۶ سلنه مرګ ته نږدې کېږي. هر ساعت تلوېزیون کتل لس سلنه د مرګ خطر زیاتوي او ۱۸ په سلو کې نورې ناروغۍ لکه د زړه ناروغي او یا داسې نورې زیاتوي او پیدا کوي. نو د کم وخت لپاره د تلوېزیون کتل ستاسو د مرګ چانس کموي او کولی شئ د ډېر وخت لپاره ژوندي او ځوان پاتې شئ.

۳ - لمر ته د دېر وخت لپاره مه کېنئ

د ډېر وخت لپاره لمر ته کېناستل، ګرځېدل او یا هم په لمر کې کار کول کولی شي تاسو د پوستکي له سرطان سره مخ کړي او په څنګ کې ورسره د پوست د ګونځو او لکې سبب هم ګرځي. که مو دنده په داسې یو ځای کې وي چې سروکار مو له لمره سره زیات وي نو کولی شئ د لمر له ضد کريمو څخه ګټه واخلئ نه یوازې د مخ لپاره، بلکې د لاسونو، سینې او یا هم د بدن د هغو برخو لپاره چې له لمر سره مستقیمه اړیکه لري.

۴ - له یوازېتوبه ځان وژغورئ

څېړنو ثابته کړې، هغه کسان چې له خپلې کورنۍ، دوستانو او ملګرو لرې وي، ډېر یې د زړه پر ناروغیو اخته کېږي؛ یوزاېتوب د انسان زړه وژني چې دغه چاره د سګرېټو په څېر د انسان د عمر د کمښت سبب ګرځي. څېړنو دغه راز په ډاګه کړې، یوازېتوب پر هغو کسانو چې عمر یې خوړلی وي ډېر اغېز کوي او د دې لامل ګرځي چې شخص په ژور خپګان اخته او خپل ژوند په تدریجي ډول له لاسه ورکړي.

۵ - مېوه او سبزي وخورئ

که په ورځ کې له مېوې او سبزیو دری ځلې استفاده ونه شي او ونه خوړل شي، انسان له روغتیایي ستونزو سره مخ کېږي. مېوې او سبزي له دې کبله چې د ویټامینونو او فیبر سرچینې ګڼل کېږي، په انسانانو کې د زړه د ناروغیو احتمال ۷۶ سلنه کموي. دغه راز سبزۍ او مېوې کولی شي په ښځو کې د سینې د سرطان مخنیوی وکړي. په سبزيو او مېوو کې د انټي اکسیدان موجودیت د دې لامل ګرځي چې په رګونو کې د وینې جریان ګړندی شي او د پوستکي د ګونځي کېدو مخنیوی کوي.

۶ - ورزش وکړئ

هغه څه چې د ځوان پاتې کېدو لپاره ډېر اړین دي هغه ورزش دی؛ د ورځې په اوږدو کې هرو مرو باید ورزش وکړئ؛ هغه څېړنې چې په ۲۰۰۸ کال کې ترسره شوې دي، ښودلې یې ده چې په دایمي ډول دروند ورزش لکه منډې وهل او یا داسې نور ترسره کوي لږ تر لږه ستاسو پر عمر څلور کاله ور زیاتوي؛ دا په داسې حال کې ده چې دغه ډول ورزش د زړه او مغز په روغ ساتلو کې بې ساري مرسته کوي. څېړنو ثابته کړې ده چې له دې اسانه ورزش لکه د ورځې پلي ګرځېدل هم کولای شي انسان د زړه له ناروغیو په امن کې وساتي.

۷ - سګرېټ مه څکوئ

د اوږد ژوند او ښې روغتیا لپاره تر ټولو اړینه دا ده چې سګرټ ونه څکوئ، څېړنو ثابته کړې ده هغه کسان چې په ۳۵ کلنۍ کې یې هم د سګرېټو څکول پرېیښي دي، لږ تر لږه د دې چانس پیدا کوي چې اته کاله زیات عمر وکړي. د سګرېټو نه څکول نه یوازې دا چې د انسان عمر اوږدوي، بلکې د زړه او سرطان له ناروغیو هم خلاصون مومئ.

Advice for Love & Relationship

50 Timeless Pieces of Advice about Love & Relationships.

1. Don’t stay with someone who antagonizes you or belittles you.

2. If you feel lonely, you’re better off being alone.

3. Know when to walk away.

4. You can gauge a person’s love for you by how they treat you when they are upset with you.

5. Love is a verb, not a noun.

6. When a light bulb goes out, you fix the light bulb. You don’t get a new house.

7. Don’t settle for someone who has zero regard for your feelings or wants just because you’ve been together a long time.

8. Just because you love each other does not mean that you’re good together long-term.

9. No relationship is perfect and there will be conflict. What matters is the desire to solve the problem.

10. Always fight the problem, not the other person. If you keep this in mind when arguing, you’ll be able to actually resolve the issue than be mad at each other.

11. Don’t look for a girl you want to treat like a princess, look for a girl you want to treat like a partner.

12. Don’t disparage your SO behind their back.

13. Confidence isn’t “I know she likes me”, confidence is “I’ll be okay whether she likes me or not.”

14. There are a number of people you can be compatible with. No one is perfect. You have to work at love.

15. You’re not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.

16. Marry the one who gives you the same feeling you get when you see food coming at a restaurant.

17. The grass is not greener on the other side, its greener where you water it.

18. Stop trying to find the right person and start trying to BE the right person.

19. The person who cares least in the relationship has the most control.

20. Don't listen to other people's comments. Make your own relationship rules.

21. It’s better to be happy than to be right.

22. Always be the first to genuinely apologize after a fight.

23. You can’t expect someone to love you when you can’t love yourself.

24. Just because you liked the friend-version of someone doesn’t mean you’ll like the relationship-version of them.

25. Before you move in with your partner, go on a road trip with them.

26. Don’t be afraid to open up and be vulnerable. Vulnerability can bring you closer together and strengthen the two of you.

27. When you and you SO are arguing, remember—it’s you and them VS the problem. Not you VS them.

28. Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

29. Don’t fall in love with someone’s potential.

30. It takes two happy individuals to make a happy relationship.

31. If the world didn’t give each other second chances, we would all be single.

32. Everyone is searching for the perfect person, but no one is trying to be the perfect person.

33. If you love the memories more than the relationship, it’s time to move on.

34. Just because a person is right or perfect for you, you may not be the right one for them.

35. If it’s broken, fix it. If you’ve lost count of how many times it’s broken, or the cost of repair far outweighs the initial outlay, throw it away and move on.

36. Out of all the things needed for a successful relationship, love barely makes the top 5. Honesty, loyalty, trust, and communication all have to be there.

37. Always hold hands when talking about the hard stuff. It helps to keep the negative emotions in check & shows you care.

38. Be the man or woman you would want your future or current child dating.

39. Love is about appreciation, not possession.

40. Don’t go to bed angry. Everything will be there and worse in the morning.

41. Always seduce your lover, even if you are in a committed relationship. Otherwise, another person will.

42. Talk to each other about problems, not friends and family.

43. Keep no secrets, tell no lies.

44. Sometimes you gotta wise up and let go. Yes, it hurts. But it’ll hurt more in the future.

45. Relationships aren’t hard. If it is hard, you are probably with the wrong person.

46. Love is not a feeling. Feelings fade, change, and respond to situations and events. Love is a choice.

47. If it feels wrong at the beginning, it probably won’t get better.

48. If you’re keeping score you already lost.

49. Love is an action, not a feeling. It’s learned and developed skill, not an experience. Not that the romantic feeling doesn’t exist or isn’t a wonderful part of the relationship, but it doesn’t make it last.

50. The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook

Written by: Lorenzo Jensen III

This article was published in thoughtcatalog.com  & Found on AskReddit.