8 Tips to Build Tolerance in Your Life
Most people have trouble being tolerant with others. As a living, breathing society, everyone is constantly learning and adapting to each other—it comes with the territory. But cultivating a spirit of tolerance can bring healing and meaning to your life in unimaginable ways.
Tolerance
is your ability to deal with the disagreeable. It’s your capacity to withstand
the “yuck” in your life and other people. Sometimes, someone’s disagreeable
nature can simply be an annoyance, while other times, it may be much more
intrusive.
The
practice of tolerance, however, is more about your relationship with yourself
instead of with other people. Tolerance can be thought of as emotional or
mental perseverance:
·
How long
are you able to deal with the disturbances that others cause you?
·
Are you
able to do it with a spirit of grace and confidence?
·
Do you
prefer to be indifferent, ignoring the person or situation?
·
If the
behavior is unlikely to change, how do you deal with them?
These
are questions that take time to consider. When you feel yourself intolerant of
someone else, remember the following insights. They can help you deal with
yourself and others in order to cultivate the benefits of a life filled with
tolerance and stillness.
Own Your
Feelings
When
something bothers you about someone else, it is good to remember that it is
bothering you. The other person may not even be aware of your
feelings, let alone be prepared to change because of them.
Keep
in mind that your feelings are your own and that you have the right to
self-mastery in your life, just as the other person has sovereignty over
themselves.
Look
Within
Try
to see past the person and situation into your own annoyance. Look within
yourself to find the source of your problem:
·
Are you
not receiving something that you want or need?
·
Is the
focus not on you?
·
Is the
other person saying or doing something that you wouldn’t allow yourself to do
or say?
·
Why are
you annoyed?
Check Your Ego
Often
other people are simply disrupting your flow. When your stillness is disturbed,
your ego may desire to retaliate. A mental or emotional line is being crossed
and therefore you feel frustrated. This inner tension can be your ego showing
anger at the fact that your personal attention has shifted.
When
you are bothered by other people, you are no longer focused on what you were
doing. This is upsetting to the ego. Remember you are not your ego, but rather
its source. By recognizing ego concern for what it is, you can cultivate the
ability to limit the importance of some of the things you feel.
Meditate
Meditation
can help cultivate tolerance. You can learn to tolerate some things about
others simply by discovering they’re just not that important. The things you
take issue with don’t have to define the person or the experience.
By
calming your spirit, you can learn to check yourself before reacting. Start by
routinely checking in with yourself during stressful experiences or people. You
will begin to react with more grace and patience and be able to offer the best
version of yourself.
Remember
Change Is Imminent
The
universe is always changing, always happening. And as such, everything has its
moment to be. You, also, can change from one moment to the next. This dynamism
can be seen as a blessing when cultivating tolerance.
Be
mindful of the fact that no matter how pestering an annoyance can be, it is
only temporary. The majority of people in your life are only around you in
certain circumstances or for a certain amount of time. Those closest to you
only bother you at times, but are otherwise agreeable, or they wouldn’t be
around.
Use Your
Power
Put
aside your raw, emotional reaction when dealing with frustrating experiences
and you’ll find that the experience inherently must change. It is your
attachment to the feelings behind the experience that allows it to linger.
You
have the power to control how much an annoyance affects you. Even if something
about a person bothers you, you can always shift your focus to more agreeable
aspects of the person or experience.
Learn
to allow life to bug you and then go away, without any lingering effects.
Keep
Perspective
No
matter how likeable you believe yourself to be, someone out there is or would
be annoyed by you. With the numerous spectrums of thought and behavior among
humans, it’s impossible to be accepted by all. Chances are, somebody has put up
with you at some point. Ask yourself:
·
Have I
ever rubbed someone else the wrong way?
·
How did
they react?
Remember
your own faults and that life has given you grace. Even in your worst times,
someone has shown you kindness and patience. It will serve you well to pay that
kind of grace forward.
Practice
Patience
Practicing
patience with the disagreeable aspects of people in your life will help you
become more tolerant. The universe allows room for all of your decisions and
behavior, while working around them and through them. Seek to mimic this
tolerance in your own life. Cultivate centeredness that will be there inside
you through everything and everyone. It is empowering and noble.
Feeling
annoyed by your co-worker or that person who just cut you off? Don’t waste your
energy. Learn how to cultivate a spirit of tolerance in your life when you join
Deepak Chopra and Chopra Center master educators at our gateway meditation
retreat, Weekend Within. Over this 3-day
retreat, you'll receive a gentle, guided introduction to Primordial
Sound Meditation, Ayurveda, and the Seven Spiritual Laws of Yoga, while
enjoying your stay at the world-renowned Omni La Costa Resort & Spa. Learn more.
